Desires
by verumficta
Summary: Merlin suffers from nightmares and Arthur is the one he wants to turn to for comfort.


When he wakes, it is wet and damp all around him and he's frantic for a moment- just a single moment when he is faced with the possibility that it might not have been just a dream after all. The dark haired man tries to slow down his frantic breathing as he sits up, his slick body sticking to the sheets drenched in his sweat. He wipes his damp hair from his forehead as he throws on his clothes, his hair still sticking up from sleep as he hurries to his destination. He has to- He has to make sure he's safe. That his world hasn't drowned. It is still dark- still night, but the guards let him pass. Sir Leon nods at him and something flickers in the Knight's eyes. Respect? Pity? Curiousity? The Knights are used to Merlin's late night trips after little more than a year, so they don't ask and Merlin certainly doesn't explain. The sorcerer raises his hand up to knock. He wants to one day, he really does; and maybe then Arthur will pull him into his strong, warm arms and keep him safe. Maybe, but probably not. He leans against the door, his back sliding down as he slumps to the floor, the back of his dark head against the hard, cold wood. If Merlin's quiet enough- if he slows his heart down enough, breathe softly enough, he can hear his prince breathing softly inside his chambers, deep with sleep and fatigue. That is enough to calm Merlin's worry and soothe the deep panic that was rising in his chest and in the pit of his stomach. It is enough for Merlin to fall into gentle sleep, unrocked and undisturbed by crashing waves and rushing water.

If the sensation of falling wasn't enough to rouse Merlin, the heat of hands shaking and prodding him certainly was. He groans, rubbing his cheek against the warm heated surface of soft skin. Merlin's eyes widen and he quickly rights himself, his hands flying to steady himself just as another did. "_Mer_lin. Why are you sleeping outside my door?" The blonde's eyebrows are arched and Merlin embarrassingly realizes that it must have been Arthur's chest that he rubbed his cheek against. Was that- _No. _Merlin absolutely did not drool, that he was absolutely certain of. Almost. Merlin ran a hand through his hair, catching the knots and smoothing them out as he did so. "I- Um. There's a rational explanation for all of this, Arthur. I… promise?" The Prince merely pulls Merlin into the room and shuts the door quietly behind him. The sky is still dark and he can't help but wonder how long he's been asleep. A minute? Ten? "I'd love to hear it, Merlin." The prince tucks himself into bed; Merlin's eyes fixed pointedly somewhere above Arthur's head. "I… was… um. Looking out for the… rats! Yes, that's exactly it! Those bloody rats. They come out at night you know, and sleep in the day. I'm just following your orders, Sire by-" Arthur rolls his eyes. "Of course I know. I'm the Prince of Camelot, I know everything." Merlin raises an eyebrow challengingly, but it's way too late and Arthur is tired from training so nodded obediently it was. "Well, _come on. _We don't have all night." Merlin looks around, confused. His dark blue eyes bright in the moonlight, shrouded by sleep and… and… _arousal. _"… Sire?"Arthur coughs, lying down on the bed, unable to stare at Merlin any longer. "Come on. Get into the bed, Merlin. You must be freezing." A minute passes, then two and Arthur is almost tempted to see if Merlin was still standing there gaping like the idiot he is. But not a second later he feels the bed shift and hears the rustle of sheets as Merlin climbs into bed. His idiot manservant was huddled in the corner and even in the darkness he could see his back shaking from the cold. Arthur makes a mental note to ask the cook for bigger meals and then proceeds to pull Merlin to him by his waist and wrapping his arms around him. "A-Arthur?" The Prince rolls his eyes in Merlin's soft dark hair. "You're going to _freeze, _Merlin, you complete-" Arthur hisses as Merlin entertwines his freezing legs with Arthur's, pressing his cold toes against his heated skin. "_Merlin!" _The slighter man simply shrugs, an impish smile playing upon his lips. "I'm just taking advantage of the kind service you're providing me with. _My lord." _Arthur has to scowl to hide his growing smile.

He then proceeds to hit his idiot manservant upside the head. It's quiet then, the sounds of the night floating in through the window, the chill of the night unable to penetrate the world of warmth between Merlin and Arthur's bodies. But Arthur can't sleep, his eyes unable to close, instead resting his gaze on Merlin's parted lips breathing steadily. He wanted to brush Merlin's dark hair from his eyes, to bite his long, slender neck, to pepper it with kisses and bright rose colored teeth marks. His teeth marks. His lips. He feels his growing discomfort and winces. _He was the crown prince of Camelot for god's sakes! _Yet here he was, obviously aroused and lusting after his idiot manservant. A bad manservant, at that. Arthur pouts, but he honestly can't find it within himself to hate the situation, at all really. Merlin was different. He was loyal, open, adorable, kind, generous, naïve and he had this fierce belief in Arthur and his future that he cannot help but love him for it. "What secrets are you keeping from me, Merlin?" Arthur whispers into Merlin's dark hair, his fingers playing with the beautiful soft locks. If he had been paying attention, if he'd been less distracted by Merlin; he'd have noticed the pale man go stiff. But Arthur was troubled, he knew Merlin had secrets from him. Everybody was entitled to their own secrets, it was certainly of no business to Arthur. Yet Arthur was annoyed by the very idea that there might be something about his manser- no, that there might be something about his _friend _that he didn't know. What was that idiot doing outside his rooms anyway? How long had Merlin been there? How long has this been going on? Merlin knew everything about him; Arthur only wanted to return the favor. The prince leans down and brushes Merlin's parted pink lips with his own, whispering into his friend's mouth.

"I want to know you."

The body jerks underneath him and Arthur tears himself away, his eyes wide and frantic. _What has he done? _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid; his heart seems to beat at him as he stares at a wide eyed, slack jawed Merlin. _You've ruined everything! _A voice in the back of Arthur's mind cries and the stinging behind his eyes seem to agree.

The silence is tense and filled with the charge of that one chaste kiss. "I want to know you too, Arthur." Merlin whispers softly; fragile words only dared to be uttered in the dead of night. Arthur won't let these words be broken, he won't let them go. Never.

Arthur pushes himself on Merlin; shoving his friend deep into the sheets, his body heavy and hot against him. Fingers pulls at his blonde hair as he attacks Merlin's lips and neck. The hot swirl of tongues together sends a delicious jolt down both of their spines, straight down to that pooling heat in the pit of their bodies. Arthur pulls away from Merlin, bright blue eyes sharp as they watch the bright redness of his lips and the way his bright pink tongue darts around his now empty mouth. Arthur groans, licking the nape of Merlin's pale neck. Merlin pants beneath him, his back arching into Arthur, his groin sliding against his Prince's thigh. "Gods, Merlin." Arthur moans, his fingers digging under their nightclothes, pulling and tearing until all barriers between them are gone and only they remain. Their lips are red and bitten as fingers dig into soft flesh, hard enough to leave dark bruises in the morning on hips and necks, displayed for all to see. Arthur cannot find it in him to tell Merlin to be gentle, tell him to be careful because someone might _see. _Arthur realizes he doesn't care. He gets bruises all the time after all, he's used to it. Yet Arthur knows these bruises are different. These are left with no intent to hurt, left with lips and fingers hungry with need and want instead of a blade and fists hungry for blood and pain. These bruises would be left with an intent to heal and save instead of hurt. These bruises, Arthur knew, he would proudly put on display till the end of time if it was Merlin and only Merlin who gave them to him. For it was only Merlin that made anything important. It was only Merlin that is important. Only Merlin.

"Stop- _Arthur. _We've got to- Ah." Arthur immedietly stills; his heart beats hard in his chest and he pulls himself away quickly, fleeing to the far corner of the bed. Merlin suddenly finds his arms empty, Arthur all the way on the other side, his cheeks a dark red as he stares down at the sheets. _Oh, Arthur. _Merlin suddenly found himself shivering and also feeling very, very lonely. He didn't want to feel like that anymore. Merlin crawls over to Arthur and tilts his burning face upwards to press a soft lingering kiss on bitten red lips. "I didn't mean it like that, Arthur." Merlin whispers staring into his King's eyes, only to see the panic flair in them, the walls and gates beginning to fall in an attempt to salvage whatever piece of his heart is left. "No! I didn't mean- I mean- _gods. _I'm an idiot. I mean…I've done things I'm not proud of, all for you. I want you to know me too and the things I've done. I… want you to accept me." Arthur stares at Merlin, suspicious and on edge. Merlin knew feelings were hard to talk about with Arthur and he wouldn't push him to reciprocate them, but he had to do this now. He _had _to do this. "I'm a sorcerer, Arthur." His dark blue eyes are shap as he watches his King. Arthur stills; his heart beating loud and fast in his chest, consuming his mind and his thoughts. It's surprising that Arthur's first thought isn't for his King's safety or for the Kingdom's; but instead for Merlin and his stupid beautiful blue eyes and his stupid magical smile. Stupid manservant that always prances in at the completely _wrong _moments, endangering all of them by- Wait, _no. _The bloody idiot's been _saving _him! _How undignified! He was crown Prince of Camelot! _Yet he felt a warmth in his chest spread to his groin at the thought. The bright blue light that guided him on his quest, that reminded him so of Merlin's eyes. Valiant's shield, to the questing beast and the gryphon- The fucking… Lancelot knew! Why did he fucking tell fucking Lancelot and not him! Yet a voice whispered in the back of his mind that he was here, the ungrateful prat, and not Lancelot. The voice sounded suspiciously like Merlin's. "Arthur? Are you… you're not gonna faint are you?" Arthur glared indignantly at him, though he was absolutely not pouting. "Princes do not faint, _Mer_lin." His friend smiles, wide and large, his lips stretched wide. "So… you're okay with it then?" Arthur simply rolls his eyes. "Well, I want to talk about it _later._" The Prince says, blinking down at his hard cock. Merlin blushes. "Oh! Um. Alright." The dark haired sorcerer pulls himself into Arthur's lap, his fingers tangling in his gold, damp hair. Merlin makes his way down slowly, nipping and lapping at the heated skin, being sure to leave bruises. He knew how Arthur was, he was a collector. He would consider these bruises as prizes, trophies. Merlin's only coherent thought as he takes Arthur into his mouth, is that here his King was-_safe _and to top it all off- _happy. _Merlin really couldn't ask for more. He didn't need more. Arthur's fingers laced in Merlin's hair, tugging as he thrusts softly into the warmth and slick wet heat of his lover's mouth, restricted by Merlin's hands holding him down. "_Merlin." _Arthur pants, and the future King of Albion promises his entire kingdom to Merlin, he pledges his heart, his sword and his kingdom all to his sorcerer. _His lover. _But Merlin just hums contentedly, his lips stretched dark red and wide around Arthur's cock, his tongue poking teasingly. He didn't want or need anything else. Merlin reaches up to slide his fingers teasingly into his King's hole, gently stretching open the thick muscle. Arthur thrusts violently into Merlin's mouth, the heat and the friction of teeth grating against him is too much. Arthur's eyes flutter open to watch Merlin sucking him off, his pale cheeks flushed a dark red, his hair sticking to his forhead and his mouth- his goddamn- _"Arfur."_ Merlin moans into him, and just like that Arthur comes. The pleasure shooting through his blood, his body arching into Merlin's mouth. He hears his heavy panting, the beating of his heart and he tightens his fingers in Merlin's hair as he watches his lover lap up his come with his pink tongue. Merlin's face is considering and thoughtful as he pulls away with a loud and obscene pop that makes Arthur flush. "You're the best I've tasted." Arthur pulls Merlin to him, he felt content, happy and boneless. "Of course I am, Merlin. When are you going to learn? I'm the Crown Prince of Camelot. I'm the best at everything." Merlin just snorts and takes himself in his slender hands as he begins to jerk himself off. Arthur watches, fascinated at Merlin's long fingers sliding around himself, the way his lips parted. The Prince laid a hand on Merlin's, and he looks up. Arthur blushes and looks down at the sheets. "No. Um… Don't, please." Merlin raises an eyebrow but lets go, his fingers entangling themselves with Arthur's. "Why were you outside my door, Merlin?" He is curious and he wants to- no, he _needs _to know if this is going to work. Merlin gapes at him. "You're going to ask about that _now? _You _are _a prat! Can't you see that I'm still-" But he sees the urgency in Arthur's face and just sighs, running a hand over his face. "Remember that girl, Sophia?" Arthur nods, but Merlin just barrels on. "She was a sidhe, a sort of magical creature. Her and her father were going to kill you as the sacrifice needed to reopen the gates of Avalon." Merlin is shaking slightly now, his fingers tightening on Arthur's. "I stopped them though- I reached you right in time. But if I had been a second later, Arthur you were _sinking_ in the lake. You had your bloody chainmail on, and I just kept diving and looking for you. But you were so deep and by the time I found you… _you weren't breathing, Arthur! _You almost died because I didn't see them for what they were sooner, if I had-" The Prince gathers his lover in his arms and seats him on his lap, his arms warm and strong around Merlin. He would never let anything hurt him, ever again. "I've been having these nightmares ever since. I'm almost too late to save you, so I have to come and make sure you're okay. To make sure you're safe. To make I didn't- I didn't _kill you." _

Arthur shushes him, pressing soft loving kisses on his temple and soothing his hair back with his hands. "How long, Merlin?" There is a slight pause, before the reply. "A year. Maybe more." Arthur's breath hitches in his throat. Merlin's been sleeping on the cold, painful floor outside his door for a year? In the winters, the corridors were so cold they'd leave a man with frostbite! Arthur clutches Merlin even tighter into his chest. Merlin would never sleep on a cold, hard floor ever again. Merlin would never sleep anywhere besides in this very bed with Arthur; if he had anything to say about it. And he did. He is the crown Prince of Camelot afterall. Arthur kisses Merlin, soft and chaste against his lips and tongue; slow and lazy. "You saved me, Merlin." He whispers into his lover's ear, feeling him shiver. "I want… I want-" Merlin's already nodding, compliant. "Whatever you want, Arthur. _Whatever-" _Arthur shuts him up with his lips. _He wasn't understanding! _"No, Merlin. I want you in me."

Merlin's breath hitches and he pulls away to look at his king. "Wha- Arthur?... Are you sure?" Arthur flushes angrily and stares down at the sheets. He is quiet when he replies. "Is that so wrong of me to want?" Merlin is on his lap, sliding himself against Arthur's stomach. "_No, _Arthur. You are free to want and to love whoever you please. I… I love you." Merlin pauses, watching Arthur's face intently as a blush spreads. "I love you too, Merlin." The future King breathes softly, almost afraid to say it aloud in the world. But Merlin hears it and that's all that truly matters. Merlin smiles softly, cradling the back of Arthur's head as he leans in for another soft kiss. "Do you have-" Merlin begins, but is cut off my Arthur nodding quickly and gesturing to his drawers. Merlin smirks, his eyes flaring gold as the drawer opens of it's own accord and a small crystal jar of oil for sore muscles floats out and lands in Merlin's open palm. "Prepared, are we?" Arthur can only nod as Merlin pushs him down onto the bed. "Have you been dreaming of this, Arthur? Of how I'd feel like pushing into you?" Arthur can only breathe and pant in reply, _Yes. _He is caught unawares when Merlin pushes the first finger into him, soft, gentle and oh-so curious. Merlin's other hand pets Arthur's hips, his fingernails gently raking the bruised skin. He pushes in deeper, his finger buried inside Arthur and the Prince wants to squirm because this is complete uncomfor- Arthur gasps and his voice is thick and raspy as he's finally able to ground out, "_There, Merlin. Right. There." _ He hears Merlin's breath hitch, a second finger joining the first, slowly scisorring him open and wide. "Arthur, you're beautiful." He hears Merlin say, and he opens his eyes just in time to see Merlin lean down to stretch Arthur open with his tongue. The Prince groans and throws his head back to land heavily on the pillows. It's so wet and hot, because it's _Merlin _and he's been wanting this _for so long. _Merlin stretches Arthur nice and wide, until his hole is dripping oil and Arthur is moaning loudly below him, _for him. _Merlin lines himself up with Arthur, his hands clenching tightly on his bruised hips as he watches his Prince blink at him with pleasure hazed eyes. He could barely contain himself, his hips stuttering forward. "_Well? _What are you waiting for, Merlin? A bloody invitation?" Arthur pants, pouting. Merlin just rolls his eyes. "This going to hurt, Arthur. I want to take it slow, your first time." He watches his King's eyes blaze with the prospect that this was only the firs time and the idea that there will be many, _many _more to come. "I'm not a bloody flower, Merlin." The sorcerer sighs and pushes into the Prince, slick and hot and _ohmygods, _Arthur is so damn _tight. _They both freeze for a second, Merlin digging deep into Arthur's hips with his fingers, leaving bruises atop of bruises. "You- _okay?" _Arthur pauses before nodding, his brow drenched with sweat as the pain split into him. How was Merlin so damn big? "Just do it." He ground out, biting his lip to keep from crying out as Merlin pushes himself all the way into Arthur. He waits for Arthur to open his eyes and nod, before he lets himself slip- just a little bit and soon he's thrusting deep into Arthur, the heat and warmth of it all engulfing them both. "I'm- I'm not going to last long, Arthur." Merlin gasps but Arthur can only think of Merlin, he can only dream of Merlin, it's _Merlin _and he's everywhere and in everthing all at the same time. It's _Merlin. And he's in me! _A voice sings happily from inside his heart just as he hits that spot inside him that made his toes curl and his heart race even faster. Arthur swears, curses and tells Merlin he loves him in every language he knows. But it's lost on both of them as Merlin continues to thrust into him, their bodies getting closer and closer with every second. Their souls seemed to collide and stick, so much so they'd never be able to tear them apart again. Not that they would, anyway. "_Merlin." _Arthur moans and just like that with his lover's name on his tongue, Merlin comes inside the Crown Prince of Camelot. He collapses on top of Arthur, the heat is unbearable and the sweat is sticky and gross but it's _Arthur _and it's _Merlin,_ and frankly their both just too damn tired and boneless to move. It's a long time before Merlin finally has the energy to pull out of Arthur and roll onto the bed next to him. He sees Arthur wince and he smirks. "And you said you weren't a flower." Merlin says, his voice thick and heavy with sleep as his eyes begin to droop closed. Arthur swats at him, but misses and proceeds to pull his love into his arms. "Can't you clean us off with your… you know?" Arthur makes a vague hand gesture that Merlin could very easily take for something else but considering the circumstances, he takes it simply as 'magic' and cleans them both of as his eyes flash gold. When their clean, Merlin looks up at Arthur to see a flash of awe in his eyes. Merlin blushes, and ducks his head but Arthur simply tilts his face up to his and presses a soft, loving kiss on Merlin's bitten red lips. "You're magic, Merlin." His sorcerer laughs and pretends to bat at him with his hands before settling back into his lover's embrace. Arthur is falling asleep, his eyes drooping closed as he buries his face in Merlin's hair. "Rats don't exactly nest in a Prince's bed, you know." Merlin quips, voice laden with sleep. Arthur growls under his breath. "Shut up and _sleep, Mer_lin." This time the sorcerer listens and doesn't move away but Arthur clutches him tighter anyway.


End file.
